Watching TV shows yesterday was certainly nice, and not playing any more Magic was nicer still. That means, that as much as I enjoy playing Magic, and as much as I apparently can actually turn a fairly stable (albeit slim) profit from it, my suspicion that it could never work for any relevant amount of time (like, say, a year) due to me hating it too much is very valid. It also means I need a contingency plan in case I can not go to university in October that is completely removed from playing Magic.
When I set out to develop Genesis, I assumed I would enjoy all aspects of it roughly evenly. Despite finding less time to keep working on it than I would personally like, I now know that assumption turned out to be laughably wrong. I like coming up with card designs just fine, and enjoy pushing the boundaries of what is possible with Magic cards, to see what happens. But that wouldn’t keep me occupied for a week, let alone long enough to get some proper results. I am, on the other hand, really enjoying the writing part of it. Writing long fiction is an entirely new experience for me, and while the process is about as difficult, time consuming and frustrating as I expected it to be – with me having done close to zero amount of actual writing even now – I do find it to be much more rewarding than I could have possibly anticipated. Every time I run into a wall, where I need to close some plot holes and/or logically explain how some situation or other came to be, it takes me hours upon hours to come up with a solution that in retrospect seems both intuitive and fairly easy to reach. Coming up with an elegant and simple solution to what seemed like an insurmountable obstacle is the pinnacle of satisfaction. Another thing that, while even more work than I thought, is much more fun as well, is to breathe life into my characters. Inventing a detailed background to each and every one of them – almost all of that background not being relevant for the story – is both a monumental amount of time spent, and something that is obviously desperately important in order for me to understand where these people are coming from, and exactly what their views on the world – and resulting from that, their actions – would be. What is even harder for me though, is to develop their social or verbal ticks – anything really that makes them special and recognizable, without being too pushy and obvious about it. There is a very thin line between making a character round and making it obnoxious, and attempting to walk it is a challenge I certainly enjoy.
The more time I spend constructing my world, my characters and the story I intend to throw them into, the more I fall in love with them and the whole creative process. This is still just a trial run, but I am more hopeful then ever that Genesis will actually be written, and I really hope that people are going to read it (and enjoy reading it). Does that mean, I want to be an author? Well, I have actually never been naive enough to assume I could just write something and then live off doing that. I’m also far from convinced that I could stand up to the pressure of deadlines and such. No, I don’t think I would want to be an author, even if the opportunity presented itself. But if I manage to make Genesis happen, and people read and like it, I could definitely imagine writing a proper, original story. And if I should really find myself with no good plan come October, writing a novel is probably something I could ship to my parents as a sweet life experience to make. I would obviously still want to work on something else besides, but planning at least 3-4 hours a day to complete it, is not out of the question.
Another thing I have been thinking about, is just where to take this blog. I again find myself with mere minutes to update today, before I need to go to a Poetry Slam, and most of my posts end up being fillers anyway. In the beginning, I thought I might be able to prewrite some things, and post them when I have no time or no inclination to write something properly entertaining for you, but that is a notion that is hilariously unfeasible. On the days I have the time to write more than one entry – when I don’t want to spend that time doing something else – I prefer writing a longer/deeper entry. Writing two good entries on a single day just will not happen with any kind of regularity, so if I keep the blog daily, the reality will just be that many, if not most, of my posts are fillers. I am prepared to lose my bet, and move the blog away from the forced nature of updating on a schedule. Before I do that though, there are several things to consider:
Will I bother writing at all, when I no longer “need” to? Is it even necessary?
I’d be delighted if you could give me some insight on this. Do you enjoy the fact that you will always have a post here every single day? Or are you generally annoyed to come here, finding out, that yet again there isn’t really anything of interest to read?
I really need to get going, but this is a topic I need to make a decision on, so I would be very grateful if you could help me out 😉